Resilience - so often we think of this as 'suck it up and press on'. I’d say this is Grit - and this needs its own post!
For me resilience is this elastic quality, our ability to withstand challenges, to be able to bounce back, recover and be able to keep on going sustainably, without wearing ourself out.
I've been mulling this over a lot lately - partly because I'm facilitating a session on Resilience today for PVL at one of the big law firms in the City. Also for personal reasons.
Funnily enough Resilience - becoming BULLETPROOF - able to handle anything, truly un*fckwithable became a passion of mine when I became a Director in Market Risk Change. Back then, thirty something me discovered how Imposter Syndrome, lack of self worth and feeling like something was wrong with me were the main detractors of my resilience.
If we think we are not good enough, we burn so much energy just showing up. Examining our beliefs and doing the inner work to shine a light on our demons and make friends with ourself is so liberating, freeing up our energy along as we let go of what holds us back.
So much of our ability to be resilient is built in our mind - our beliefs about the world and ourself, how much we feel at choice vs controlled by others or situations.
While mindset is a big part of our ability to be resilient - it is also a physical thing. I also learned through fertility issues that I have a gene mutation MTHFR that means I can't properly process Folic acid. This also means my body can't detox as easily and my immunity is low. UNLESS I take a supplement that is the metabolised form of Folic acid that my body can process. Game changer.
So what am I thinking about now - why am I mulling over Resilience again?
This year is a year of adventure for me. Finally letting myself do things I've been yearning about for many many years. Like this - hiking in snow shoes through the Whistler mountains.
As I approach 50, as a woman, I feel changes in my body that are affecting my physical resilience.
My body is asking me to change the way we roll together and yet my mind is so resistant - why? Because how we roll is tied up with my identity. I love HIIT. I love to go hard and smash it out! Ouch, right now this hurts.
What I notice is how easy it is for our mind to create stories based on how our bodies are feeling - I'm getting old, I'm so weak. Body feeds mind, mind feeds body. Tsk, Bun that!!! I just need to adapt how I train.
So I ask myself: Is this helping me? or harming me?
This combined with taking a curious, experimental approach is proving to really help. Spin instead of hit, sauna and ice baths, lots of hot yoga, trx. I'm feeling much much better.
I hope by sharing this, this helps you too. Do let me know what you think about this and feel free to ask any questions in the comments below.
I'll be sharing more on this topic including how to finally stop beating yourself up through the practice of self compassion.
Here I walk you through step by step many useful and practical techniques for emotional intelligence and how to make friends with your mind.
And provide you with other resources that may help you grow including meditation and more.
15 min guided meditation set to soft music to help you calm, soothe and release fear.