Exhausted…or am I lazy?
Many people including many of my coaching clients, those in our Inspired Inner Circle meditation group and me too - we are all feeling so exhausted, like our get up and go got up and went. Many feel they are procrastinating, lazy - what’s the hack I need to get back to it??! Well…
The field of psychology shows us that a high level of uncertainty in life paralyzes us by triggering an intense, fear-based "freeze" response, where the brain perceives an unpredictable future as a dangerous threat.
We human beings naturally crave security, so prolonged periods of uncertainty - such as economic instability, health crises, or rapid societal changes - can overload our capacity for decision-making, leading to emotional, physical, and cognitive paralysis.
You might not feel this applies to you, yet you’re struggling with exhaustion, marvelling at your former get up and go self, wondering how to summon your previous levels of drive and ability to power through.
Yet even in the cocoon of middle class London life, we are not isolated from the rest of humanity. The unspeakable horrors in Gaza and beyond, Trump posturing and warmongering with Nato over Greenland and Iran over basically oil, A.I. and whatever is playing out in your industry…
Also no one told us reaching even early adult life seems to also involve our loved ones and our parents getting sick, declining, dealing with the kind of life changing, life threatening conditions and death which makes us notice our own decline too.
The problem is the world’s suffering and despair vibrates at the same frequency as our own inner pain - I’m not good enough, I’m not loveable, the lack of self trust, the fear we might not make a success of our lives.
So in the face of all this uncertainty, loss, confusion and difficulty, our wheels can start to spin. Wishing we could just stay in bed, pull the duvet over our head, feeling so tired, exhausted, fuzzy headed - this is the warning sign we need to look deeper. This isn’t a motivation problem, it’s a despair problem.
By understanding what might be going on that has you feeling like this - you will be more able to find your way back to the energy of hope, self trust and good-feeling purposeful action, by taking care of your suffering rather than kicking yourself up the ass ;)
Psychological and neuroscientific perspectives on how a lot of uncertainty in life paralyzes us:
1. The "Freeze" Response to Perceived Danger
When we cannot predict the future, our brain's threat-detection system (the amygdala) is activated. Instead of fighting or fleeing, which requires a clear target or direction, the brain may choose to "freeze" to conserve energy and avoid making the wrong move.
This can manifest as:
Physical Paralysis: A literal feeling of being stuck or unable to move, accompanied by anxiety, muscle tension, or rapid, shallow breathing.
Emotional Paralysis: Feeling overwhelmed, or numb, or like we have nothing left inside where our self protection mechanisms are kicking in so that the intensity of emotions don’t overwhelm us. We are unable to respond normally, we feel muted.
2. Analysis Paralysis (Overthinking)
Too much uncertainty often brings too many options or a lack of clear options, leading to "analysis paralysis". We become trapped in a loop of "what ifs" and worst-case scenarios, trying to analyze every possibility to gain a sense of control.
Fear of Failure: The fear that any decision will lead to a negative outcome causes us to make no decision at all.
Decision Fatigue: When we are forced to make numerous decisions about an uncertain future, our mental capacity depletes, resulting in an inability to make any choices.
3. The "Why Try?" Mentality
When the rewards for effort are unclear, the effort itself can feel futile, leading to a "why try" attitude. This is a defensive, protective mechanism where we stop trying to plan for the future to preemptively manage disappointment.
"Quiet Quitting" or Procrastination: Avoiding taking action on important, long-term goals because the outcome is not guaranteed.
Apathy or Resignation: A quiet, passive acceptance of a negative situation because the effort to change it feels pointless.
4. Overwhelm and Cognitive Load
Uncertainty often creates complex, intertwined problems (e.g., a move, a job change) that overload our working memory. This "cognitive load" causes the brain to short-circuit, making simple, sequential tasks feel insurmountable.
Catastrophic Thinking: The brain turns a series of manageable tasks into a single, overwhelming, and impossible threat. “I can’t…” “It’s impossible…”
Avoidance Loops: Procrastinating on tasks provides short-term relief from stress, but it actually increases the long-term, overwhelming weight of the responsibility.
How to Overcome This Paralysis
While uncertainty is unavoidable, we can manage its paralyzing effects by:
Shrinking the Horizon: Focusing on the next 5 days instead of the next 5 years.
Controlling the Controllables: Focusing on small, actionable steps within our direct control, rather than ruminating on the unknown.
Using Action to Create Clarity: Taking small, concrete steps, which helps to build momentum and decrease the need for a perfect plan.
Shift Your Perspective: Notice how much time you spend dwelling in the unsolveable problems vs positive energy things. If we spend too long staring into the abyss, we may fall in. Instead unplug, get around people you love, doing things that are fun, things taht lift YOU up.
